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View Full Version : Vern's Funeral



Snapper
03-14-2015, 04:10 PM
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends two
nights each week bowling, and plays golf every
Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for
his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey,
Vern! How ya doing?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club
before.

"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like
his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and
says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and
says... "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big
boy?"

Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out
of the club.

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must
have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is
having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling
him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.