I Made A Snowman
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 am: A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snowwoman.
8:15 am: So, I made a snowwoman.
8:17 am: My feminist neighbor complained about the snowwoman's voluptuous chest, saying it objectified snowwomen everywhere.
8:20 am: The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 am: My transgender friend passed by and asked why I didn't just make one snowperson with detachable parts.
8:25 am: The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 am: I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 am: The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 am: The police arrive, saying someone has been offended.
8:42 am: The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snowwoman needs to be removed, because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 am: The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 am: My local TV news crew from the ABC showed up, asking me if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen. I replied, "Snowballs." Now I’m called a sexist.
9:00 am: I'm on the morning news, being described as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 am: I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 am: Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding I be charged by the Anti-Everything Commissioner and then beheaded.
So, how's your morning been?
Haha 5
Reply With Quote
