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Thread: 2 Truths & 5 Rules of Life

  1. #1

    Default 2 Truths & 5 Rules of Life

    The following Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life seem to be fairly valid...


    SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

    Lovers help each other undress before sex.
    However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
    Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

    SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

    When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats."
    But, none of them comes up to the man - touch his penis and say, "Good job."

    Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.

    FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

    1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.

    2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name and if you can, pay him back.

    3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

    4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk.

    5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Very good brother! Enjoyed em!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    Stump Jumpin' in SJ
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    Some very good one's Charles. I especially like the "SIMPLE TRUTH 1". Isn't it the truth? I know in my case it always is!
    Snapper

    Don't put your finger where you wouldn't put your face!!!

    If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.

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