Brooklyn Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"








Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR





One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.





First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."





"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.





"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."





She said, "Excellent, Michael!"





Then the teacher reluctantly called on Brooklyn Tony.





"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!' "




Y
Brooklyn Tony ON GETTING OLDER





Brooklyn Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."





Brooklyn Tony replied, "You know, my grandfather lived to be 107 years old."


The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"





Brooklyn Tony answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."