THIS IS MY STORY AND I’M STICKING TO IT!!

I have always questioned if Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton were really preachers since they have no church.
When I heard Al Sharpton was guest preacher at a black Las Vegas Church, I decided to check him out in person and see what it was all about.
I sat down and Sharpton came up to me - I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the Church.
He laid his hands on my hand and said: "By the will of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today."
I told him I was not paralyzed. He came back and laid his hands on me again, and repeated the same thing.
Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.
After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold, my fucking car had been stolen!