For a few laughs

[Charleslee]

:


Business Opportunity
Thought you might want to consider getting on board early. A British Engineer just started his own business in Iran.
He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof.
************************************************** *****


FULL BODY SCANS AT THE AIRPORT:


The T.S.A. disclosed the Airport Screening Results

October 2012 Statistics On Airport Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security:
Terrorists Discovered
0
Transvestites
133
Hernias
1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases
3,172
Enlarged Prostates
8,249
Breast Implants
59,350
Natural Blondes
3
It was also discovered that 535 members of Congress had no balls.
Thought you'd like to know.

************************************************** ************************************************

oldie but goodie

Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"


Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the
table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn
around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.
He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he
chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a
single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve
her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her........

While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.

This coming week is National Senior Mental
Health Week. You can do YOUR part by
remembering to contact at least one
unstable Senior to show you care..
I have now done MY part.

[Charleslee]

Better, right Aaron?

[Twizzler]

Yes those were really good.
Thanks, Aaron